帰国中は結婚イベント出席や、住所転出届を出したことで今更になって、将来の人生設計が不安になってきております。
また、様々な方々との再会を果たし、ほっこりしたものの、一時帰国は病みつきになりそうなので、当分自粛したいと思います。
Qatar National Dayのお祭り騒ぎの中で、伴侶(候補)がいない師走の寒さが身に染みている摂氏15度前後の社会人1年目の冬でした。
I am glad to have realized that people and sceneries in Tokyo have not changed much in the mere space of 9 months. As expected, I am also still as clueless and gullible as I used to be, and have enjoyed the privilege of extended juvenescence to the full extent.
The reminiscent sentiment was so intense that it would take me a while to get over it, nonetheless.
The visual chronicle of a blunt life of a greenhorn who was transported to the city of ostentation with inchoate infrastructures, and still …being clueless.
[Notes in June]
Having successfully, but not intentionally, failed to meet up with the expectations placed on me in terms of work performances, the workloads and mental pressure that had seemed ginormous in the last month, somehow seem manageable for now. The change has been so drastic that I am not sure whether I should celebrate or get disappointed.
Anyhow, the last 2 months has been long enough to transform the premonition I had: “I might not be able to flourish in the corporate world”, into a crystal-clear conviction. However, I wouldn’t let this realization hold me back, and at least I will try to minimize my helplessness so as not to affect work of others.
As for the private life, I have no life and I suppose this is how it should be for a clueless newbie who gets undeserved salary and fringe benefits, and contributes none: literally unblemished zero, to the increase of shareholder value of the company.
[Notes in July]
Contrary to my preference of being secluded from any off-the-job socialization, I have been obliged to attend with frequent outings or team building sessions with colleagues. Given the choice, I would probably somewhat distance myself from mingling with coworkers during non-office hours, but it has been pretty pleasant to have been around with the folks (of close age) from Japan. Self-imposed isolation seems to have been long enough for me to drop my pretense of being a social misfit. After all, I cherish being with people.
What I despise; however, when it comes to close interaction with people is that my flaws (too romanticized to call them as “foibles”) become plainly obvious and more accentuated in light of others.
This nagging disinclination of juxtaposing shabby myself next to the charms and graces of others, has been always around and prevented me from hopping onto social interplays that would have brought more serendipities otherwise.
All in all, this is the month I have come to recall the joy of getting in touch with people, and I dare to embrace all the troubles accompanying with it (at least for now).