In perpetual pursuit of making sense of un-randomizable world.
投げられた仕事の処理にあぐねてとりあえず後回し。アドバイスを頂戴しようにも,質問を聞くべき人も,内容も往往にして検討違いだから大抵怪訝な対応をされる。
聞くのが億劫になり小さい頭で問題も理解してないのに答えを捻りだそうとする。そんな中タスクがどんどん積もってって,殆どフリーズ。結局投げた人が尻拭いしてくれていて,それをCcで知った時の哀しさ。
そんな日が続き,振られる仕事量が明らかに減った。
フリーズに慣れてしまった処理スピードで緩くなったはずのワークロードも膨大に感じる。タブ開き過ぎた時のパソコンみたい。
何より一番の懸念は質問するのが億劫になってしまった事。
自分で抱えて,解らずスタックしてるのが一番非効率なのは分かっているものの,動けない一週間だった。
ただ、光明が差したのは、問題が解ってる人同士の話し合い(メールではなく)に同席すれば,よっぽど効率的に問題ととるべきアクションがクリアになるとわかったこと。
I’m not sure if this should be the first topic I bring it up since I moved to Doha.
Anyhow, the only locations I’ve been to thus far in Doha are: accommodation, office, the bay area and a ginormous shopping mall nearby.
There is a hyper-market (apparently that’s how it’s dubbed in the directory), in the mall and it has been playing a vital role in providing me the food and whatever necessities for living.
I didn’t go shopping often when I was in Japan as I didn’t need to. Over here, I got used to buy stuff in bulk over the weekend to prepare for the coming week, which is not necessarily a typical practice in Japan where people go shopping for multiple times/portions during a week.
The mega-market like this challenges my ingrained anti-consumerism psyche which has been fostered on the principle of “Mottainai”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Combined with my stingy prudence, this sense of Mottainai has been keeping me from spending my money on stuff that might be good to have, but not essential for living, knowing I would squander/ditch them at a certain point later. This has been my operating rationale that determined my actions.
Just as much as how accentuated my stinginess might seem, I have also taken actions based on a modus operandi that is conflicting to my economic benefits.
For instance, buying perishable goods at a supermarket has been one of the examples.
Recognizing that they dump profuse amount of expired products every day, I used to pick almost-spoiled products when it comes to buying perishable goods from the stack so that I could marginally contribute to the reduction of wasted products, however negligible it might be. Needless to say, this is more meant to assuage my frivolous self-worth than doing practical good, nonetheless.
By virtue of this self-righteous futile moralism, I bought a relatively damaged cabbage among other fresh ones today as well. As I prepared the dinner, the cabbage turned out to be further rotten inside, making the large portion of it inedible. I could have been more stoic, and cook it anyway, but didn’t, and the most of it went straight into the dustbin (By the way there is no separation of trash, or whatsoever at all in Qatar E.g. the cabbage was in the same bin where an empty glass bottle was in).
This is what happened, so what??
Let’s say, a whole cabbage was wasted, as opposed to the large portion of it, for the sake of simplification.
The half-spoiled cabbage would have been dumped anyway regardless of my decision to “rescue” it from getting simply dumped at the store (unless there would have been someone who is willing to eat it, which I doubt, especially considering my high tolerance against spoiled foods).
My ostensibly well-intended action has (and would have) made no difference in the outcome, which led me to imagine the alternative; I bought an immaculately spotless cabbage at the store instead. This would have given me the whole portion of cabbage, which would keep me from buying another cabbage until I consume it. On the other hand, the spoiled cabbage I actually bought will have been also dumped sooner or later at the store.
To make my point clear, let’s assume the storage/new order of the amount of cabbages at the store is adjusted based on the # of cabbages in excess: wasted and # of cabbages sold in the preceding month (or whatever measuring period).
Again, for the simplification, let’s assume that my purchase of a spoiled cabbage has made the numbers as follows: Wasted: 99 vs Sold: 101.
In contrast, in the hypothetical universe, in which I decided to buy a damage-less cabbage instead, the numbers would have been: Wasted: 100 vs Sold: 101.
You can see the # of wasted cabbages in the hypothetical universe would be more than the outcome of my decision today, and this would probably lead to the less storage/new order of cabbages in the coming months, reducing the amount of waste. More importantly, I would get a damage-less cabbage and my next purchase of the cabbage would also be deferred to the next occasion.
I am just too drowsy to reach the sensible conclusion, but in a nutshell, I have decided to abandon the self-imposed obsession with Mottainai, and will buy whatever undamaged perishable products from this time onward.
Period.
PS. The life in Doha has been stimulating enough to transform a previously ADHD: Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder patient (self-diagnosed) into a social hermit, so I would appreciate your Hi-Hallo.